Category Archives: Stories

Joyous Christmas Greetings!

Susan Branch did a lovely post on houses today in which she likens a house to a bank into which deposits are made with the life experiences that happen there. Today I did some baking and listened to old Christmas music and thought about the immense comfort it brings, stirring memories of early home so deeply etched in my soul.

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As I worked along, I could see again a Christmas eve. I sat on the steps behind stockings lined down the banister and watched as Dad painstakingly hung silvery tinsel from every branch while A Christmas Carol played on the radio. Sometimes I would be called to come behind the closed bedroom door to choose paper and ribbon for a gift I was to give.

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I am grateful for the sweet spirit of Christmas past hovering near this cold, snowy Christmas Eve comforting in the loss of several friends who leave empty spaces in our lives this year.

My today house has many deposits in its walls. It is a quiet place this year but the laughter hidden in its walls makes me smile and decorate and enjoy living in this moment.

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This nativity from our family room is special to me with its collection of animals and angels  in great variety!

All are welcome at the manger.

 

September 9th musing

Today I remember Mom…

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I love the look of expectation on her face in this photo.

I met a distant relative and her first in person words to me were, “You look just like your mother!”   And my thought was, “You had not seen her in decades!”

I remember “The Day” in my early teen years when Mom came home from the hairdresser – A Blond!  I don’t think I knew anyone whose mom had done such a thing; I was a bit scandalized.

But for Mom, it was a perfect fit with her blue/green eyes and golden skin. She was never going to be grey or white and was always a bit dismayed that I chose that route. I had not the eye color nor the skin tone of a golden girl.

While she was known to take one aside and give a bit of unwanted advice, I don’t think anyone doubted her good intentions. She wanted only the best for her family and gave her best whether she made a favorite dish for a holiday meal, sent a special card, gave a word of encouragement, spent hours on a hand-crocheted afghan, prom dress or even a wedding gown

If you were excited about something, she wanted to be in on the fun. She loved life.

Happy Birthday, Mom, you’re never forgotten.

 

 

Summer on the road

I was 17 and spent my summer earning the money for driving lessons and insurance. The family car had a standard transmission and Dad seemed in no mood to teach me to drive it. I was told there were plans for a newer car so I took my lessons – three. The instructor took me to the Dept. of MV for testing. Amazing myself, I passed both tests and went home with a license in hand. Then I waited, and the newer car came and I still waited, now worried that I had forgotten everything.

Labor Day weekend we had plans to go to the Grandparents for a cookout. I had hoped to drive, but I wasn’t offered the wheel.

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The last car Dad had to himself!

We were about half way when Dad pulled to the side of the road and told me to get behind the wheel. Heart pounding terror came as the reality of being responsible for my family set in. But, I was 17 and I had a license to drive, so I did. Slowly, then up to speed, things were going well and then the first turn – right. With the power steering, I suppose I could have made a neat and tidy 360 – except for the hedge. It really slowed me down and we came to a  stop in the middle of someone’s yard.

Dad got out and talked with the homeowner and asked to call a tow truck. An inspection on the lift showed no damage done to the car. I thought the damage to my driving career was total. I don’t remember anyone saying much during all that time. Dad was usually spare with his words.

When the garage man was paid, I walked to a back door and then Dad spoke, “Get back behind the wheel.” And I did.

It seemed like many years went by before nature repaired that hedge! The gaps reminded me not only of the foolishness of overconfidence but the kindness and restraint of my Dad in actually teaching me a life lesson – there are times when one must “Get back behind the wheel.”

Recently I had a difficult situation which seemed to cause me to crash against an invisible hedge, the jolt was hard and it left me wondering what to do, how to proceed and that’s when I seemed to hear Dad again, “Get back behind the wheel.”

Maybe you feel like you’ve crashed somewhere and you’re looking at some mess you’ve made. Maybe it’s time now to take a deep breath, get back behind the wheel of life and go on again to your destiny. Please do. Or perhaps you know someone in this situation who could use your kindness and encouragement to go on again.  Please give it.

 

Garden Memory

In my earliest memory I am in the backyard of my family’s first home. Clutching a doll or softie, I am crouched low watching a tiny rivulet running through the grass exposing earth and pebbles. I am quite content, alone in my wonder.

I shared this memory with my older sister a while back musing over the tall trees that enclosed this private world. There was a long quiet. Finally she said, “We didn’t have big trees but you were so small I guess they would seem tall to you.”

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The truth doesn’t change my memory and the photo verifies that trees and shrubs could have seemed quite tall to me. I’m glad for that place and time where the earth came with child-sized river and pebbles, grass and trees captured my soul with wonder.

There were many gardens in my childhood memories. My city Grandparents raised beds of flowers and grape arbor invited games of balance on the curbing.

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My Uncle’ country property was carpeted in early summer with dandelions to be picked for Grandmother’s wine making. I remember in late summer the hum of bees and the scent of ripe apples and pears waiting to be gathered and preserved.

After we moved, the next door neighbor’s garden behind the aged picket fence intrigued me with its terraced hill, willow tree and fish pond.

My memories of our first home are few but I would often hear my Mother refer back to that yard in a kind of wonder – “You could grow anything there.” Usually this was followed by a litany of flowers and victory garden offerings that where in great contrast to the yard around us where constant coaxing and composting produced only modest years in the clay that surrounded the house.

I had no complaints for there are wonderful memories of play there. The overhanging roof along the dining room dripped a channel in the grass and a bridge from an old aquarium crossed its pebbled banks and dollhouse people ventured there on outings. And there was an odd space on the top of our un-terraced hill that my brother cleared for a sandbox. One could feel hidden, so far above the world there! I also remember sheet and blanket tents hung from clothesline and a bridal wreath bush that became a flowery haven providing crowns for the princesses in the short bloom season.

Then all too soon we were too big for such play and retreated to the front porch with games and books to wile away the summer days. But magic still happened and I remember the year the mimosa tree had grown to be seen from my bedroom window. When I woke, the delicate pink puffs seemed to be a floating cloud accompanied by bird song.

The gardening activities of those times involved picking flowers, gathering mint for summer tea, scattering 4 o’clock seeds (where they were not wanted – but they were so easy to gather!), dispatching Japanese beetles and picking an occasional weed. These were hardly activities to prepare me for tending a garden but truly those which blessed my soul and laid the foundation for a life of enjoyment in gardens.

 

Garden Tending

Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend it. Gen 2:15

Gardens and yards have always been in my memories. My first memory is of being in the back yard of my family’s first home. It must have been after a heavy rain for a rivalette of water had cut a path through the grass revealing tiny stones along its bank. A magic world opened before me.

I shared this memory with my older sister a while back musing over the tall tress that enclosed this private world. There was a long quiet while I looked back into that place. Finally she said, “You were very small, so I guess the trees would have seemed tall to you.”

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And so they did! How glad I am for my memory with child-size rivers and rocks and grass to capture my young soul with wonder and beauty.

Years later I would listen to my mother refrer back to that yard in wonder – “You could grow anything there!” And the litany of flowers and Victory Garden offerings would follow. This, of course, was in contrast to the yard around us of hard clay. They worked and coaxed and composted and supplemented and tended. It was hard work but they persisted and were rewarded.

I now tend gardens, not everything I plant grows. Plants mysteriously disappear in winter, vacation somewhere and sometimes return years later having taken up residence in another part of the yard!

It is a wild place where we do battle with deer and racoons and rabbits and the occasional ground hog and thorns and thistles, too. But still we tend and the first harvest is a special delight even if it is only radishes!

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Recently my friend took me to visit a secret garden and I was so delighted to visit this beautiful place tended with love. I’m glad I took my camera so that I could share a bit with you.

The detour

The last time we went to the park, I asked for a detour on the way home. It would not take long to visit the past, I thought. So we drove down a country road where nothing looked familiar but the railroad tracks that ran alongside. The end of the road and a sharp turn left and instead of waterside cottages of the past, modern three story floodplain compliant homes confused us as we drove slowly down streets with only familiar names. Finally we saw it.

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The tiny house with the separate summer kitchen shadowed by trees I hardly remember.

I remember countless hours splashing about in the river on summer days, long bamboo fishing poles, crabbing from a boat, blankets spread for reading in shade, chatting with cousins and aunts and uncles and the smoke of grilling burgers and hotdogs. There was freedom to run into the cool of the summer kitchen in wet bathing suits dripping on the concrete floor. Adults chatted late in the night while we chased fireflies and then dragged reluctant feet for the long ride home.

We grew up and brought our own young ones to play and enjoy the river. I could see and hear it all in the few minutes I leaned over the fence and breathed the air and captured this scene. The power of memory!

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Like my Grandfather, we can hope to build a space in time for future generations to dream and create memories of laughter and family. It doesn’t have to be a cottage on a river; so many more memories came from simple city rowhouses and suburban back yards and porches. The important thing is to make time and space for those we love, isn’t it?

Time in the park

We went to the park on the river where the sun shone brightly through drifting clouds and birds sang and the wind blew hard and chilly up from the bay through old rushes and new leaves.

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He biked and I walked and looked and tried to see, really see. And gnarly tree roots opened a door as I walked in the woods.

As the memory door swung open, first I heard the faint chatter and laughter of children at play in the long ago of my first elementary school. The sound grew louder and then I saw the trees. Part of the school yard was shaded by enormous trees with great gnarled roots worn smooth by the countless leather soled feet of children enjoying the simple challenge of stretching and balancing from one to another of the sturdy tree feet. And I remember the feel of rough bark and slipping and sliding in the trying… and smiling nuns with winged white bonnets turning jump ropes and teaching hop-scotch with worn-out heels begged from the shoe repairman down the street…

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This tree has years to grow and I wonder if children will hug it and play among the roots, I hope so. Trees can hold the keys to such satisfying memories.

 

A snow story to tell

It’s early and I feel alert and refreshed – just back from a carefree run down the quiet street of Brownstones under magnificent trees full of emerging bloom. I am staying in a magnificent house on this street and one of the house dogs, a magnificent Bouvier, is running with me. Everything seems magnificent in this dream of mine and then I wake in our cottage on the edge of a wood where goats graze on the nearby hills and horses in winter blankets stand across the street. Dreams are funny things and this one has left me feeling quite exhilarated. I’ll take that as a gift!

It is below freezing and the grey dawn makes me impatient now for spring. I feel a little cheated this winter here of mostly dull. No deep snows enthuse my winter project list. I wait for the coffee and contemplate winters past and  those stories.

I remember a snow adventure when I was brave and brilliant and all of about 11 or 12. Those were the days when schools did not close early much less think of not opening because a little snow was forecast.

At the end of the school day, I gathered my younger sister and another little girl who traveled with us and we waited outside for the transit bus. Buses came and went but there was never enough room for three; so many downtown businesses had closed early. It was very cold waiting in the swirling snow. One might ask why we didn’t go back into the school to wait. Well one, I soon realized that you couldn’t get to the bus stop quickly enough on the slippery sidewalk when a bus would come and two – somehow being at the mercy of The Nuns seemed far worse than standing and waiting and maybe even freezing to death. The drama of an adolescent mind!

And then the flash of brilliance – I decided we would walk to my Grandparents home. I had no idea how far it was, but it had to be walking distance. My parents had grown up in the neighborhood and had walked to the church next to our school; I had heard all their stories of really deep snows…

I’m sure I was counting on the warmth of the old coal stove in the kitchen and cookies at the end of the hike. I’m also sure the little girls protested but I was certain of my plan and off we trudged through our deepening snow and dark through a neighborhood we only knew from the windows of the bus. I still remember the look of great surprise on the face of my Grandmother as she opened the door to us.

I no longer remember the eventual trip home, but I still remember feeling very proud that I had done the right thing and all was well. We were warm and drying and safe from the storm.

Home

Home

 

I am a dreamer…

…daydreams, night time dreams. Daydreams can keep reality in check with chores undone, lessons unlearned and thoughts unchecked sometimes giants are slain and beauty grown. Night dreams can be veiled curious and strange or movie theater clear.

A while ago I had a dream. I was walking up a circular staircase carrying a box. The staircase reminded me of the steep, narrow steps in a lighthouse with windows high in the walls. In the dream I seemed to be talking with someone behind me about painting the walls when suddenly I was stuck. The passageway had become too narrow and that narrowing prevented me from even turning in retreat.

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Eventually I think to ask the one behind me for advice and the knowing came to slide the box down onto the step before me where it just fits. Another question to my companion – step on it or attempt to step over it? And I know to step up on the box of past and use it to go farther up the stairs. And in my dreaming, I do. And everything is brighter.

Dreams instruct and I look inside to see what should be in the box and left behind so that I can climb up a step or three into a brighter place.

An old bear named Growler

“Growler”. So called because when knew, he did! Although his growl was a bit more like a cow than I imagined a bear to sound.

He was a kind, thoughtful gift from my Godmother for the birthday when I stood at the doorway of leaving childhood and commented that I had never had a real Teddy Bear. Changes of all kinds were in the very air blowing in that door and I must have sensed the need of some anchor when I asked for one.

Growler was never a plaything for me but sat properly through my teen years. Except…except when it seemed he was used as a lure for quieting and he became amusement in crib and playpen for toddler grandchildren visiting my parents’ home. While photographs just show him lying around, somehow his fur wore off and claws went missing…

Long years after his growler wore out and his head began to lean sideways and there were no little ones to play with him, he came to live in my home. He spent many a year in a memory box occasionally coming out for Christmas visits and fresh bows. Then more recently he spent his days in a small rocking chair in sunbeams and moonlight.

This week, with cleaned up face and paws, I put him in a happy box and carried him to a new home where he was warmly welcomed by an old friend of his.

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And I came home and suddenly felt bereft. I am not much of a saver so it was a surprise to feel tears. Maybe they came because of all he represented rather than that he was a possession; I am amazed how many memories can be held tight in a dear old bear.

If old bears could speak to each other, there would be a lot of happy talk going on in his new home where two other old bears speak love too.